What to do when the summer love lasts until the autumn?

Montevideo Sunset

Along my publications I have spoken of the kindness that traveling offers; see new places, cultures, languages, friends, contacts network, rest, personal growth, etc. But I have written little about what seems obvious: love and relationships. I consider myself a person completely driven by emotions, may have held me not to write about a topic that can have a thousand interpretations and that is different according to the experience. So I’ll start talking about it over a pretty common situation between people who falls in love easily.

Me, as I said, I am the kind of “love without restraint”. I Live intensely and also suffer, like the protagonist of a Mexican novel, each time the story makes a turnaround. If you are one of those who can control what your heart feels, maybe this story won’t fit in your life experience.

Most of the people already know the story. You plan a trip with no expectation beyond rest and meet a new place. Then it comes time to board the plane, and you discover that the person sitting on your side – at first sight – has the potential of being more than a beautiful coincidence. Well, your trip just started to get even more interesting.

After a loose smile, you start a shy conversation, it progresses through every CV item of each other and then move on to more personal areas, until you reach the point where you realize that you like, and a lot, that person. Wait a minute!, how so? You just met her.

It may seem an exaggerated appreciation. Also I will not get to discuss the chemistry of the first meetings, neither the biological explanation behind them, but love at first sight happens, and more than you think. Now imagine love in the middle of your holiday, which usually most people are open to trying new experiences every minute. Here certainly is not time to think twice. Carpe diem!

Then you decide to see how far it will take you this universe conspiration. You accept to have a coffee on land, walk around the town or dinner after checking in at the hotel. In a flash all your plans and your trip has just been changed, possibly your life too. And without noticing, after a timid meeting of hands or one more than expected kiss you are having one of the most fleeting relationships possible. A Summer love.

You’re in love. Everything seems perfect. You just can not find a defect in the other person.

Chemistry is only natural, the conversation flows as ever and all your body signals tell you that you will take home more than souvenirs from the market and a postcard.

But where were this person all this time? Ah, yes. On the other side of the world, possibly.

The next step is a roller coaster of emotions. You are more than happy for meeting someone special on your trip. To know another culture, a universe, a person. Someone you could have a more than fleeting relationship. You decide to enjoy every moment trying to balance your emotions with your rational thinking, to not spoil the moment wandering about the future. Easy, right?

You pass to wonder why life does not present you this kind of people very close to your home, or coming out of college or taking the subway to go to work. No. You had to travel kilometers to meet her. Then you think about how unfair this situation is. In a few days the whole story will end, possibly where it began, at the airport. When each of you will be embarking back home.

But it was very good, right? worth it! you repeated to yourself tirelessly. Your rational attempts to find a thousand explanations of why it will be better like this: You barely know each other. Would never work. A long-distance relationship with a person you just met, is far from being a good idea. Certainly if you both coexisted for a day out the trip context will end up killing each other. And all those ideas that we all put in our head for being able to set into the airplane without leaving the heart behind.

But what to do with those sweating hands and chest tightness that you carry with you? Truth be told, you come home replaying in your memory the laughter, the moments, the conversations, those beers on the beach and dinner the night before everything ended. It will pass, you think. It’s just a matter of time for you to engage back in your routine and eventually you will stop looking at the pictures of your trip, or take a peek into your beloved’s Instagram.

Well, hopefully you’ll get there, and sooner or later you will move on. Or  if you are luckier , the autumn wind will come and your summer love will still be within you.

You will still remember that conversation about a possible reunion, here or there. Or the way the words sounded different, and beautiful, in that foreign accent. And despite time has cooled down the exchange of messages, mails and calls, you still holding on that person, knowing that something good will come out of all this, only if you had one more chance of being  together.

Al the end you may never know. And possibly this uncertainty is the one who feeds the illusion of a summer love. You may need more time, of course. You may need to know another person, I don’t know. Maybe you don’t know this kind of people in your house corner, because what would be the point? We are more attracted to those things that are different from what we know.

I still believe that love is the power that moves the universe. We need love to live in this bizarre world, and we still need a lot of love around here to things get better. So why not afford to keep the hope of a love that might have worked, or that may work for sure someday.

So if your summer love survived until autumn, maybe he deserves to be preserved until winter or next summer. If the universe conspired for you both the first time, let  it create the opportunity to conspire for a second time. You may be pleasantly surprised at the least expected moment. Life has shown that amazing things happen when you believe.

Of course, that’s the opinion of full time romantic person.

My advice? the next time you travel, remember that only by opening our doors to the world, the universe can come within us. Allow yourself, live  and above all, love. For the rest let life in charge.

A beautiful fall for you.

Cristian Figueroa

Versión en español

Versão em português



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